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#46 Sam Wilson | How to challenge your money stories and change your life

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In this episode we get back to basics. This is a conversaiton with Sam Wilson. Sam is a young professional and founder of Sober mates, a community and education platform focused on helping young Aussies explore their drinking habits. She’s also a fantastic example of how when you focus on what you can control, the list of things within your control expands. 

In this episode, we explore the journey that led her to make money a focus in her life, some of the the big changes she’s made and how she approaches self improvement more broadly.

What you'll learn


Terry: hey, it’s Terry. And in this episode, we’re gonna be shifting our focus. So in order to understand crypto, we’ve been focusing a lot on macroeconomic geopolitical issues that explain how and why Bitcoin came to be as a new technology. And whilst it’s really important to understand how the big picture is shifting and changing, it can also be anxiety provoking to spend too much time thinking about things that are ultimately outside of about control.

Stephen Coby talks about this in his book, the seven habits of highly effective people. He draws a circular model to illustrate how your attention impacts your outcomes. On Cubby’s model, there are three zones of awareness and each is represented as a ring. The innermost ring is your circle of control.

This zone contains anything and everything you can immediately and directly impact in the context of personal finance it’s things like what you’re spending your money on, how much you’re saving, where your money is invested and whether or not you’re insured.

The second is your circle of influence. So this zone contains things that you can’t directly control, but you can influence in some way.

It might be how you choose to vote as a shareholder or investor in a company or as a citizen of Australia, or as a resident in the state that you live in. These are all things that you can influence, but not directly make the choice about what happens. The outermost rings your circle of concern, and this zone contains things that may impact you, but over which you have no direct control at all.

It’s things like inflation it’s things like geopolitical tensions, monetary policy, systemic inequality, all the things we’ve been discussing in this crypto series, none of that we can directly control. And it’s important to be aware of what’s happening here, but we can’t become obsessed. So being aware allows us to position ourselves effectively to protect ourselves and prosper from what’s changing instead of being surprised by it, but being obsessed, it can cause us to neglect those things that are within our command, which subsequently shrinks our circle of control.

And this can lead to a victim mentality, which often comes with fear, uncertainty and doubt. And I’m sure you’ll agree. These are generally not helpful emotions. So it’s important to moderate the time we spend in our circle of concern and put most of our energy and attention into what lies within our circle of control.

And so that’s why we’re getting back to basics. In this episode, you’re about to hear a conversation I had with Sam Wilson. Now, Sam is a young professional and founder of sober mates, which is a community and education platform focused on helping young Aussies, explore their drinking habits. She’s also one of our members and a fantastic example of how, when you focus on what you can control your circle of control expands.

Before she started with us, she actively avoid looking at her bank accounts and had no plan at all for her money. But when she puts her mind to something, she goes all in. And from the first session, she dedicated herself to taking the small steps towards converting her big dreams into concrete plan of action.

And in less than a year, her life completely changed for the better. And these are her words, not mine. You can check it out. Her case study on her website. So in this episode, we talk about the journey that led her to make money of focus in her life. And some of the big changes she’s made, but also how she approach he self-improvement more broadly.

I really hope you enjoy this episode and it inspires you to come back to that circle of control and start taking those small actions that can really start building your confidence and your confidence together at the same time. So that that circle of control can and Kinley expands just like Sam’s has.

 Hello and welcome back to the passive income project. Super excited to share with you a very special guest, Sam Wilson. Welcome to the show.

Sam: Thanks for having me.

Terry: Hey, I was just saying to you that you’ve been on our list of people. We wanted to talk to people we wanted to bring on and chat to for a fair while. you started with us December, 2020. Is that right?

Sam: yeah, into the year instead of the 2021. So it was a good time to get involved with the guys. I think.

Terry: definitely great timing. And the reason we wanted to get you on the show is because in all these different realms in life, you’ve shown that you. Being really willing to hold assumptions about yourself, really loosely question, those assumptions, challenge them. And then continually improve yourself in all these different areas.

So thank you so much for coming on and sharing what that whole thing’s about.

Sam: thank you. It’s a very nice compliment.

Terry: Yeah. There’s something you’ve said to me a couple of times, which I think is pretty funny. You were like your first impressions of us. So you’re a Jalong local. All right. So you heard about what we were doing and you started following us. Is that right? Tell me about what you first thought when you saw our


Sam: So I knew I wanted to work with my financial mindset and I knew I needed some things to fix. And I think it was researching for a year or two before I landed on cashflow co. But I did see dojo. W what were you called? and I saw it and it wasn’t a vibe like the marketing wasn’t there, the colors weren’t there, but I was like, I know this is something like, I knew you guys had something, but it just like, it was not hitting the mark for me.

And I was like, oh, we’ll say, and then, you’ve revamped rebranded. And I was like, okay, this is. Some people that I can get around. I’ll trust them with my money now that I can get their marketing and branding sorted. So you know, you gained a customer through all that branding, so well done.

Terry: well, thank you for sticking with us for long enough actually find out. like we said, we’ve kind of built this from the scratch and early days, we’re just trying to work our way through it. So um, I’m really glad you did, challenge that art assumption that potentially these guys were full of shit

 But tell us a little bit more about, who you are, where you’re from, you’re a Jalong, a local.

Sam: I would call myself a Julong local.

Now I’ve been drawing for the last nine years, but I’m originally from Hayward, which is a country town in Southwest Victoria of a thousand people. And I moved here for uni and then fell in, love the place and never left. So I still see myself as a country Bogan.

I drive a Ute. And that’s not changing anytime soon, but yeah, I Country lifestyle parents were amazing. They’re self-made. Business owners, absolute legends, and they know how to make money, but they also know how to spend it. And I think I definitely learnt about that spending part.

And that was ingrained in me is that, my family’s, told me numerous times, we’re not doing life to save money. But I think the bit that I forgot was you’ve got actually earned that money to be able to spend that money. So I was like, oh cool. I can just blow it and it’ll be fine.

 But I mean, I’ve got a very good job. I went to uni, I did all the right things. I, did have a good salary when I first joined with you guys but I just didn’t have that no house, like my parents. Didn’t teach me a lot about money. And what I did learn was fear based. I wanted to have a lot of money.

I knew I needed to have a lot of money for the lifestyle that I wanted, but I didn’t know how to make that mine. And I tried to implement things myself. Like I’m all about learning and growing and changing. So I was reading blogs here and there. I was implementing things here and there. The thing that wasn’t sticking was my mind and working on the mindset and my relationship with money wasn’t there yet, we had, I had a relationship with money where I just put my head in the sand and I knew I needed to change that.

And it was after COVID 2020. There were lots of life changes. After 18 months of toying with the idea I decided to give up drinking. And that was a big change for me, where I decided I need to find a community to embed that mindset. And I created soul mates, which is an online community and our face to face.

Now that lockdowns and. Sort of getting in the past and where we help you explore your relationship with alcohol. Because I don’t think in Australia that we question our relationship with alcohol, how it affects us, what we want from it and what it does to us. So that ingrained theory of like mindset is everything is really important to me.

And then as we got through 2020, I decided I needed to level up in my career and I applied for. New role with a nice big paycheck. And I got it. And it was about a 40 grand increase in salary. And I thought if I do not join with cashflow co, or if I don’t do something about this, it’s just going to be like what I’ve already been doing.

And that was, the point for me is that when I got that job, I emailed you guys. And I was like, get me in like let’s start there. So I started that new job in December and I said, Working with you guys. So when that first paycheck arrived, that I knew what to do with it. So I, just didn’t want that micro stress in the back of my head anymore.

That was the big one is that I was making good money and on the outside, everything looked good, but there was still that stress and I knew I was falling behind. And even though I wasn’t falling behind, it was that education that I didn’t have. Cause I didn’t know where I was.

Terry: Yeah, there’s so much in there that I want to unpack from what you just said. back to where you started there. You said your parents had very different ideas about money. Tell me what you saw. What did you see from your

parents when you’re growing up? So

obviously told you that, like we’re not here to save money, but what did you see?

Sam: Yeah. so my moms came to Australia when she was 24 from Fiji and met my dad in Melbourne and they fell in love very quickly and moved to the country. My dad has. But my dad’s always been the most passionate man you’ll ever meet. He creates these businesses, does all these things. And no one really knows how he does it because no one could create a business.

Like my dad does, like at the moment, he’s renovating a 50 year old cheese factory into an Airbnb wedding venue and it’s a five-year project. And if you go look at that factory, it is a mess. But if you’ve got vision and you can see what my dad’s going to do, Beautiful. And my mum’s life goal was to have an Australian family and she’s been lucky enough to have that.

 And she works at Woolies. Absolutely loves her job. I don’t think she will ever retire because she loves like, that is absolutely her element, but the success of those two working together and creating this unit. They’re the biggest supporters of each other, even though they’re polar opposite. But my dad and my mom, they both done very well in business and they’ve done very well to give my brother and I, the life a will, they’ve created.

 I was used to overseas trips every year. I was a spoiled brat. I know that. And I’m fine with saying that cause it’s the truth. But I, did, I got whatever I wanted and All don’t know whether I should be ashamed of that or not, but like I very privileged upbringing that I had and I thought, well, I didn’t assess it.

I didn’t think about it. I just seemed that privilege is going to follow me for the rest of my life. And in a way, yes, it always will. Cause my parents will me no matter what, but also I’m not relying on them because I’m an adult now. But their idea with money is the. where they go on holidays.

They’re not there to save money. They don’t talk about, they got a deal on a hotel. They talking about, they stayed at the best hotel and they had the best time and they talk about the experience. And that’s what I love is that they’re not showing off people total opposites of that bit, they’ve made their money and they’re, they’re still gonna spend it without showing it off in a sense, and They always taught me money was very important. They always told me that I needed money, but they also told, taught me about the excitement of spending it or what it can give you and what it has given me over the last 10 years of being an adult is travel. And that’s been a beautiful thing for me.

I’ve traveled to numerous countries and pre COVID. my goal is to travel to a new country every year, which I’ve done. And I will continue to, after this year, after we get tiny 22 behind us, but They said savings important, but I was never really good at it. I’d be like to mom and dad, I’m like, oh, can you guys just take this lot of money and just go hide it?

So I don’t spend it. And they were like, no, you’ve got to learn to do this yourself. And I’m like, well, I don’t know how to do it. Like I’m not doing it. I’m like take my money. Cause I’m bad with it. but yeah, so there wasn’t very much a hands on parental approach with money, but they still taught me the importance of it and they showed me what it can give you in your life, which I’m very grateful for.

Terry: Yeah, but they also gave you that sense that you could get on top of this didn’t I, it was all my slack. Their assumption for you was you’ve already got this. You just started realizing it yet.

Sam: yeah, exactly. Like they, weren’t gonna, spoon feed me and how to do this. They knew I could do it. And They know I’ve achieved everything else in my life by don’t ask you don’t get motto that I live my life by. so then you had worked this out as.

Terry: think you’ve honored your parents in a way, in the sense that you, agree in the sense that money spent well can do a lot for you, but then you, Made your own mind up a little bit when, it comes to like, alright, but I do also need to get on top of this part of it, and it is really important for my future here.

So why do you think that is? why did you depart there a little bit?

Sam: I knew it was important because my parents are self-made and I wanted to be a part of that journey as well. I always thought I would own my own business when I was 18. I never thought I’d finish uni. So I’d be owning my own business. And I have gone down that corporate path, but I do have of course, so mates as well, but I generally like my corporate jobs.

So there’s that, but I, knew something was wrong. because if there’s a micro stress in the back of my brain and I’m stressed about something, like, I know there’s something to fix. Like I know that I was continuously saving for this home, but I wasn’t getting there. And I was like sitting at the same amount for like 12 months.

And I’m like, what is going on? Like, my money is going into this like savings account, but then it’s going out again by the month is over. Like I was. Calculating what I was going to spend for the month, but was a lot, like I was guessing how much money I was going to spend. And I was lying to myself that I was only going to spend this much, unlike going out and this watch on like, travel.

Like I wasn’t being true to myself in how I was going to spend my money for the next 30, 31 days. And the other part of it is once. Created that Excel spreadsheet and I got it wrong. I didn’t look at it again. It was like, okay, well let’s do July down would go better. And I won’t spend as much this month.

And that was what I was thinking is like, I won’t spend as much this month when I should’ve been thinking is this is what I do spend to survive. Now I need to align my goals to match that. And that’s what I learned with you guys.

Terry: Yeah. So it was really disparate. It wasn’t integrated at all in terms of what you’re trying to accomplish. The house was a different thing. You just were like, I just need more money for the house, but they weren’t connected. Is that right?

Sam: Yeah, exactly. Like the, want and the timeline that I’d set myself as, like, all right, I’m going to buy a house in 18 months when the reality of the deposit wasn’t there. So I was stressing myself out, but I’ve got to hit this goal. I’ve got to hit this goal yet. My plan was like totally off. Like there was no plan.

It was just like, keep saving, keep saving. You’ll get to that magical number and it will be all sorted, but they were like, there was no plan to approach. There’s nothing systematic about it. There was no accountability. There was no reflection. Like it just wasn’t there.

Terry: Yeah. And you mentioned the word micro stress a couple of times. I’m keen to dig into that. Cause I know there’s more to that story for you. can you define what that means and how it impacts you? Micro stress?

Sam: Yeah. One of my best friends, Dan told me about my first stress and I’m like really stress?

for me, it’s something that is in the back of my mind that is just like nagging at me that I can actually fix. Money was always in the back of my mind. I was always stressed about money yet. I didn’t do anything about it.

one of my phone bills, my phone plan wasn’t right. And I knew they were charging me wrong. And it was like the stress in the back of my head for like three months. And I spoke to Dan about it and he’s like, well, just call him up. And I was like, yeah, that’s a good idea.

I’ll do that. And I called them up and it was a 10 minute conversation. I got my like $45 back. And the next bill came and it was the correct amount. But now I’m like, I remove all the Microsoft stresses in my life.

Like, if I’m stressed about something, I will call them. I will sort it out. I will read a book about it. I will DM that person. I will have that awkward conversation because my mind can’t handle that. I’ve got so many wonderful things to think about. I can’t have this micro stress and removing your micro stresses, like things you can actually solve. So important. it relaxes me so much and if I’ve got micro stresses and I can’t sleep, I just open my journal out. I write those micro stresses down. I read it. And the next morning I either read it and be like, honey, you are tired.

You’re fine. Or be like, okay, I need to take these things off. So I don’t lose sleep tonight.

Terry: I love that. even just observing you. I feel like that is a driving force behind all these projects in your life, money based being one of them is like, how do I remove these things that weigh me down so that I can free myself up? Would that be a fair comment to

make. Yeah, absolutely. I’m

Sam: good at money. But before that one thing that I am really good at, and I do commend myself on is my organization and planning skills. my calendar is beautifully color coordinated as my wardrobe, but I know what I need to do. And I know when I need to get it done by it.

And for me to get shit done, I need to be accountable and I need to have a deadline. And I need those things to get to do what I have to do in life. And I know that about myself. If I just say, I’ve got to do these tasks, it won’t get done. If I set myself a deadline and I tell my mate, like, I’m going to do this person.

So we mate, so I’m going to create this event or I’m going to work with this brand. once it’s written down or once it’s on my whiteboard or once I’ve messaged it to someone like it gets done.

Terry: Yeah. What I think is interesting and I’ve noticed this in myself and also others, you kind of mentioned how you’re organized, you got the diary and that kind of thing. And people who say I’m not a money person, but you’re really organized as a person. Yes. You actually are, you just don’t know it because if you’re managing your time, you are managing a resource the same way that you would be managing your money.

And that is the way to do it. Isn’t it? You have so much time that you’ve got a lot of it and then you want to be very deliberate and intentional about that. find that really interesting cause I, kind of come at the other way. Right. coming from a sport background, everything’s kind of scheduled for you.

So. I’m like 28 leaving that career. I didn’t even know what a diary was. And I was like, man, I look like I’ve got a whole week. What

Sam: It’s

Terry: do but you know, having money and understanding how to manage money is actually how I learned how to manage time better. And so I think those two things are inextricably linked in that way.

Cause if you are managing your time, you already have the skills to manage your money, which I think is interesting. And I think it’s probably probably speaks to how quickly you picked it up.

Sam: absolutely. I think it does go hand in hand, but for me is that I was so good at organization and time management and getting shit done outside of money, but like the money stuff wasn’t in that bucket yet.

And that was really hard for me because I was avoiding it. I was putting my head in the sand. I was letting it be in my first stress in my life for so long. Where I just needed to put my hand up and ask for help. And once I did that, it was fine, but yeah, absolutely. Now a hundred percent goes hand in hand in my calendar.

I have my money mapping, my like reviewing of my month, everything is in my calendar, pops up. I don’t get scared of it. I’m like, okay, cool. We’re doing this today. I’m going to go do it and I’m going to send it off and it’s all going to be sorted. And I don’t have to worry about it for another 30 days.

Terry: so tell me then the decision to actually then go and get help. So reach out to us. You send us an email. What was that like? Was it hard for you to kind of, hit, send on that and say, help me with.

Sam: Yeah, me personally, if I’m sending an email, I’m going to be so damn upbeat about it and I’m going to like capture you guys, even though, you know, you’re capturing your new client. So I don’t think. The email itself. Wasn’t hard. It was getting to that email was really hard. It was stalking you guys on Instagram and, knowing that I could tell you guys, we’re hitting the mark with mindset, and I know you guys were going to fix my.

But it was still really scary. Cause I was like, oh my God, they’re going to see what I spend all my money on and they’re going to judge me and they’re going to go through my money with me every month. And I’m going to have to say, I bought like, two pairs of shoes and they weren’t even on sale and blah, blah, blah.

What’s not like that at all. Anyone listening. It is absolutely incredible. Not like that at all. But fear factor and like doing something new, like as much as I definitely have a growth mind. I am the person that will, take me a bit to do something new if I’m not already good at it. And it did take me really long time to sort out my money, because I knew there was that fear factor that I knew I wasn’t already good at it.

So the lead time thing, you know, me watching you, you know, I wish she rebrand. Like I could have joined dojo like a long time ago. I wanted that. but. My mind wasn’t ready. And then, you know, I had a change in, financial circumstances where I was getting a pay rise and that was the breaking point.

I was like, okay, cool. Like, you’ve got a new job. You can do this. Like, you got to sort out your money. You got, more money now. So like, it’s going to be easy. And it was easy. Like, working with the guys and those 12 weeks? I still work with the guys every month, but that, first program.

was easy. Like it wasn’t scary. It it made sense. And obviously wish I did it years ago, but I didn’t happy where I am now. But it takes a bit of time.

Terry: that’s the thing that we observed for you is like, are you, got this. You’ve already got it. We can tell from the first meetings, Sam’s all over this. She has everything she needs to, to win, but wasn’t all smooth sailing. Was it? There’s a couple of times there where you were like, oh, this kind of is frustrating.

Tell me about that meeting you talk to me about just before this episode, where Ryan and you were talking about that house and your plans and the why you kind of had to sit back and rethink

Sam: Yeah. I’m a people person and I was really lucky that I did connect with both of you guys and going into this. I told myself that I really wanted to be honest with you guys. And obviously worked with uteri at up, but I probably spent more time with Ryan and the amount of stories Ryan has kept away.

hit it, all the secrets he has with me. We have got a really good relationship. And, and even with both of you, is that we’re very honest with each other. And the guys know how I spend my money and what I want to achieve in life. And, oh, I don’t know when the conversation was, it was probably, must’ve been a couple of months into the program when I was just getting going.

And I think Ryan knew I could handle it. I was getting really stressed because the timeline for me to purchase my own home was being delayed and it wasn’t being delayed. It was being realistic. And we need to set up expectations of, of when we’re actually going to purchase this home. And it was about the three year or two and a half year mark where I wanted it within 12 months.

And reality is that wasn’t going to happen. And Ryan was like, What would happen if you couldn’t buy a house? For another five years and I just shut him up. I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Like, no, no, no, I’ll have a house for four or five years. And he’s like, Sam just listened to me.

And I was like, this guy’s a prick. What’s he talking about? aside, I did step back. you know, this is what I’m paying him for. I thought I’d been listened to his advice and he was like, if you didn’t buy a house for another five years, What would have to be true in your life for you to be happy and no one has ever laid that out to me like that.

Like if I can’t get my dream right now, like, will you still be happy? And when I reflected on the life I was living, then I was living in a share house with three other people. I didn’t have a home. I could host in. That’s really important to me. And. I was just getting into investing. So like, I wasn’t there yet.

And I had the goal of travel, but, you know, she’s COVID so Ryan and I made a plan and we said, all right. So if you’re going to be having. And the life you’re living right now every day for the next five years, what has to be true? I ended up moving into a house with just one person, or we created a home where we could host it and I wasn’t embarrassed to have people over and adults over.

 I was focusing on investing. I was still focusing on saving for my deposit and I had a really nice travel kitty, even though it.

didn’t get used a lot during uh, 2021. But With all that planning and yes, that was all amazing. And it worked out for me. I’m very happy person.

I’m very energetic. I love, my life every day that I get to live. But there was that, that micro stress and that was that part of me that wasn’t happy. And it wasn’t until that he laid it out. It’s like he just, pregnant, shoved it in my face. Be like, you’re not going to achieve this.

For five years, what are you going to do about it? And it ended up, changing creating a life that I’m absolutely happy to live.

Terry: if there’s one thing I’ll say about Ryan is that he’s going to have that hard conversation with you if he has to. And I

think it is, always coming from a place of, I want the best for you, but work with reality.

Sam: Yeah.

Terry: I think it’s a skill he’s got where he’ll do that.

He’ll step into that place. there’s members at times who I know they’ve got the shits, they’re like, you just took me out of my fantasy world and you just planted my feet and reality. And that is not where I want to live.

 But we always say, listen, like as soon as you start dealing with reality, you can deal with it constructively.

That is how you move forward.

Sam: Yeah,

exactly. Like I had an issue about a month ago, I was really stressed and I was venting to him on the phone. And the week later it was all resolved and he’s like, aren’t you glad, glad you learned that. Piece of that was like, no, you’re right. Like I got through that and now like I leveled up and it’s fine.

So, you know, I love the honest combos. It makes us both grow. Cause you know, I do give it back. So

Terry: you need it. I reckon like you can easily deceive yourself and you can stay in that place of magical thinking for as long as you lock. Really, I would suggest that the majority of Australians stay in magical thinking until they’re about 55. And then they start thinking about, oh shit, there is the reality creeping up on me, which is retirement.

And I’ve got to start thinking about that. And so. They stopped making big changes in, but then time’s not on their side, then time’s working against them. So I think dealing with it now, getting real about it really doesn’t matter.



Terry: tell me more about how that played out, right? Because the five-year time period didn’t end up being five years for you, did it.

Sam: no, it.

didn’t. So within the first month of working with you guys, right? And I created my life by design and we laid everything out. Really pretty and it looks good and it was like this nice, magical reality. And the thing that’s, I guess, interesting about the life by design is there’s no time limit on it.

It’s just, this is like this goal that you want. we’re gonna figure out what you want, but then we’re just gonna sit it aside use what we’ve learned, that it’s just that creating these financial goals and We reviewed it like a month ago. And we looked at the life by design and I’m going to jump forward, then jumped back.

But we reviewed the left by the side and Ryan started going around. It’s like this color dropper and color dropping on the things that I’d achieved in the last 12 months. And I could not believe it. I think it was about 70% of my map was done and I was like, oh, okay. Like, didn’t think this would happen.

And so one part of the map was my dream. And it had a library. It had big windows, it had close to the river or the waterfront or the ocean. It had a place for me to Potter around and it had some way for me to entertain. Now that’s my dream home.

And I mean, right now, I thought I’d be buying a house. I thought I was going into suburbia and doing what everyone else does. I have a beautiful waterfront apartment in Jalong. It has a library. It has big windows. It’s a hundred meters from the water. I can put her around here and do as I please cause it’s all mine.

 And yeah.

my financial circumstances changed in June for the better. I ended up receiving a sum of money that I didn’t think I was going to get. Thankfully working with you guys. I was continually to save for my deposit and then I had an influx of cash and I was ready to buy like 18 months earlier than we thought this was going to happen.

And we just got going on it and I got the money chatted with Ryan. I was like, okay, like, This has happened now. Like we’ve got like, I’m going to do this, like what’s going on. And I bought the first place I looked at. I fell in love with it. I did go check out other places, but I fell in love and I’m an emotional shopper.

So I’m lucky I was able to talk them down a tiny bit on the price. Cause it was off the market. But yeah, being off the market means there were tenants in here. They were going to be in there till October of 2021. And I signed contracts in June of last year. So I said, can we wait until Jan 20, 22?

Because I go on a holiday to my holiday house and whiteboard over summer. So I’m like, oh, enjoy my holiday. Then I’ll move into my place. And they agree to it. So the bonuses, I had seven extra months to continue to save for my deposit because as much. Lot of money that I received did help. I still needed to save a little bit more and I needed to save for furnishing my place.

And I ended up saving $4,000 over budget which was amazing because for the month of January, I just used that money to buy all those things I’d forgotten about for the house. So it worked out well and going back to the mindset thing. I live in an apartment. That’s got a car elevator and it’s nearly stops me from buying in this building. And I chatted with Ryan about it. I chatted with my psychologist about it, chatted with my aunties and uncles, and that like majority, were kind about it.

Also majority is like, get over it. So I worked with my psychologist and the beauty of having a really long settlement is I got to. my claustrophobia. And I know a guy that lives in the building. So we spent three months of me practicing my car and his car. I’m driving in the elevator and now I cruise in and out of it.

And it’s so fun because work on your fears, you know,

Terry: there. It is again, just questioning your assumptions about yourself, pushing through that first initial pain barrier. Just a theme. I love hearing that story and I’ve got a question for you. Do you think you would have been as open to that opportunity if you had not sat down for a couple of hours and just mapped out the characteristics of the place, as opposed to a vague by a house dream, because you just talked about some really specific things then, but wasn’t exactly the form that you had originally thought.

Sam: Yeah. And it was, an interesting conversation with my dad when this all came about. So my dad is my best mate. We are very alike to a life that we will never work in a business together. But when, when I’d got the money and I was chatting to dad and he was like, all right, you need to go for this.

You need to do this. And I was like, house prices are rising. And then I just started thinking about the life that I live and I’m a single woman I’m may have children. I may not at the moment. I don’t see it in my future, but who knows. And I spend a lot of time at the waterfront, like ever since going sober, ever since working from home every day, I assume at Eastern beach, three times a week, I do ice bars.

Pretend I run some months of the year I’m working on that. Part of my mindset is still a work in progress. But I thought, why wouldn’t I want to like, live on the waterfront? Like, why wouldn’t I want to be here? And then I started thinking about apartments and I spoke to my dad about it and he was like, okay.

I’m like, dad, I think I want to buy an apartment instead of a house. And he’s like, no, no, no. Like you listed at me. And I was like, okay, I’ll listen to you. And then you listened to me and we had this conversation. He’s like, oh, you’ve got to buy a house. You know, you want to get a dog. And I was like, dad, I’m not spending an extra, like 150 to 200 grand for a dog.

Like all my friends, own dogs, I can steal their dogs and I can house it for them whenever I want to be in a dog field house. And he’s like, all right. well, what about a partner, Sam? And I’m like, dad, I’m very single, very single. It’s like, yeah, but what, if you get a partner, it’s like, well, they should be set up financially.

Like I’m not a pass for a partner. Like they’ve got to have their own financial futures. And then he’s like, you know, Sam, you’re always down at the waterfront. Like I reckon you should get an apartment. And I was like, oh, let’s make them in. Think it was their idea. Perfect. This is great. yeah, so all worked out and, you know, dad, dad’s a great man with great ideas and I just thought I’d follow his idea, it’s


Terry: that.

I love that.

Sam: just funny that what we’d mapped out on my life by design is exactly what I got in this apartment, but I didn’t see it like that. I think, that’s a lot to do with, manifesting and, making sure you’re correct with what you want to manifest, because you don’t know what will turn up if you don’t manifest the right thing.

So. I’m hosting a dinner here tonight and I’ve never been able to do that before, because I’ve always been in share houses and it’s two bedroom when my parents are coming up to stay my brother on Friday. So they, my parents in the second bedroom, my brothers, I’ve got a fold out couch.

We’re going to go out for dinner and enjoy the city. And I’m so close to everything. And I also, got another story to tell you too about the things I’ve learnt I said old uh, the 20th of Jan, the Shia and I was a little bit stressed being like, can I afford it?

Is it going to happen? Reality? I know where my money’s going. Like, I’ve got to plan for this, but there was still that little stress. And then I went to a mate’s place and he had an electric bike and I tried it. And it was like, oh, it was magical. Just flying along the road of like, this is amazing.

And it was $1,600 and I was humming and hiring about it. My car Sam, your first mortgage repayment, hasn’t even gone out. You want to spend $1,600 up, blah, blah, blah. I was like, oh, what am I going to do? I’m about to do my money mapping for the next month. And I know I really shouldn’t. Be pulling it for bikes of going to Fiji in March and blah, blah, blah.

randomly had a coast set with Ryan the next day. And I spoke to him and I was like, there’s this spike that. I want to get? And

I really want to get it. And I’m like, what do I do.

And he’s like, how long have you been thinking about this? I’m like 24 hours nonstop. He’s like Sam, you have money.

You’ve got your money there. Everything’s sorted. You’ve got money coming in. You’ve got your cash cushion. And he’s like, Get the bike. And I was like, I got the back, but, it’s still like, even though be working with you guys for over a year now, it’s just continuing knowing that I’m on the right path.

And some parts are harder and I’m still learning as I go. But when things like this come up, when I’m like, I want to treat myself to a brand new bike, it’s not going to hinder me, find it. That I get to enjoy this. other than the apartment, it’s the best thing I’ve ever purchased?

 I use it every day and it brings me so much joy and I don’t have to worry about the financial aspect of it because. I have a plan set in place. And then when something comes up, the money is there. It’s just me being okay with spending it. Maybe not having to call up Roderick. Can I spend this money?

And he’s like, Sam, you’re fine. Like, what are you doing calling me? But yeah, I’m a great client guys. Sorry, but yeah.

Terry: how much of it do you think is about your continually engaging with money? So when you’re doing this process, the system, we teach the money mapping. So I think it’s, you’re always looking at money that’s coming in and then you’re allocating it, using it all these different ways.

something that some people tell us, is with time it changes your idea about money because you’re always acknowledging Manny’s. There’s money coming in, again, there’s money coming in. So the idea that money is this hard to find hard to keep thing that just like is forever slipping out of your grasp.

You just can’t do that if you’re engaging with your money every month. And you’re saying that like, there it is, again, here it is again, showing up. How much of that do you think is sort of playing into.

Sam: I think that’s a massive part of it. I probably haven’t thought about that. I think that’s probably a light bulb moment for me now is that I was very avoidant in checking my bank account. I would avoid it at all costs. Back then I got paid monthly and I pay myself monthly now. So there’s no difference, but I got paid monthly and, you know, getting towards the end of that month, I was just like I had a bit of money set aside, but it wasn’t, much.

And if there was a big disaster, I could have been in trouble. And now if I lose my job, can pay my mortgage and live the lifestyle I’m living for the next three months with ease. Having that I’m so thankful for, like, I can live my life and know whatever happens. I’ve got my income insurance sorted.

I’ve got my super sorted. If I need to just rely on me. No one else I know that I’ll find a job within three months, but I know not only can I pay my mortgage, not only can I pay my bills is for that three months, I can go out for dinner. I can buy my friend’s birthday presents. I can pay for wedding gifts.

I can do a weekend away with the girlfriends because all of that sorted and money is always going to come in and it’s not slipping away from me now because. The more I look at it, the more it reminds myself that it’s still there, like that amount of money you set aside for the month, like you’ve spent a bit of it, but you know, you’ve got five more dinners for the rest of the month.

Then you’ve still got money to pay for those dinners. And it’s that, reminding yourself of that reality, that everything is going to be okay. And I think more. I avoided looking at my bank account, the worst it got, even if it wasn’t getting worse, I was still getting paid the same amount. I was probably spending about the same each month.

It wasn’t really getting any worse. It was just my anxiety that was getting worse. So now

enjoy opening my bank account. There’s no guilt around spending my money because I know where it’s going and I know what I want to use it for.   if I can align it to how much money is coming in to learning it to my goals, aligning it to the lifestyle that I want to live, then I’m going to make that work. Thanks to you guys.

Terry: it’s definitely a credit to you and the way you’ve, come in and, just being such a good student, but really glad you said that as I think a lot of people look at, our program, like, like ours or even just anything with regards to this manager money thing, and they all automatically think.

And lucky just said, like the reality is you’re not saving necessarily like whole lots more. What you are doing is using your money way better using your money way better. You’re not worried about those things you are spending in a way that really does matter to you. And that generates a higher spiritual return for you than it was previously because that micro stress, you talked about sitting there every time, questioning yourself, having that guilt, you don’t get to enjoy your money in that way.

I’m really glad you set up because it’s not about just trying to squirrel away the most amount of money you can. I feel like that is a wasted life. And I agree with your parents on that fact

Sam: I think there’s that stigma, right? When we’re cutting out with saving for a house where we’re saving money, that there’s crappiness with it, like, you know, we’re going to have to be like, not buying coffees out, like the stupid things of avocado and toast and blah, blah, blah. But there is that stigma was like, okay, where do I get my money sorted?

There’s going to be a struggle and it’s going to be hard and you’re not going to be able to do the things that you want to do. And I think Also the fear people have of getting started is because we see it as being so hard because we stuck our head in the sand for so long that we’ve avoided learning about it.

We’ve avoided learning what the real true reality is. And then once we get into it and we, spend, a couple of hours a week learning about it, we’re like, okay, Avoided all this stuff. Absolutely. No reason that, I’m in control of my life. I’m creating the life that I want to start. I’m going to make my money work for me.

Terry: I love it. I love it. If you could give somebody advice, if you could rewind to you in, like, let’s say you in June, 2020, that’s stalking us on Instagram and sort of, you know, what did he get involved? But staying serious, steering clear still, what would you say?

Sam: I think not knowing everything is okay. And as I said earlier, like sometimes I can be a little afraid to start something like I do get there in the end, but there’s no prep for this. there’s nothing you need to do. You just literally have to start, right? Like you have to sign up with you and Ryan and you’ve got to get going because worrying about and stressing about it, having that micro stress.

Yeah. You’re not doing anything. You’re not helping yourself at all. I think the most important thing you need to do is just start. And if it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work. But I telling you, it going to change your life and it’s going to fix a lot of your problems.

Terry: Well, I’m really glad you said it. I think, starting is the thing. It just, it doesn’t even matter. It might be with asthma with someone else you might love gel with our kind of approach, that’s more than fine. You just have to find somebody outside of yourself. What about for someone who is, struggling to sort of sort it out themselves. You talked about, you know, having the spreadsheet and going through that kind of process and trying to do that. What advice would you have for that person? Who’s not just watching, they actually trying to do stuff and it’s not really working for them.

Sam: Yeah, I think that was probably a hard thing. For me to, remind myself as like, I think I knew the whole way, right? I was doing these Excel spreadsheets and it wasn’t working. But I didn’t know what to do about it. And if it’s not working, that means you don’t have the education or the experience to know what to do.

And it comes back to again, is putting your hand up for help yet, whether it’s you guys or whether it’s someone else, you’ve got to find out what works for you, because if something’s sort of evolving and you’re not changing your mindset, if you’re not reaching out for help, that issue is still going to be there the next month.

When you do your Excel spreadsheet, I think the important thing is that we need to keep learning and if we’re struggling, like, I’m a learner through and through. I love reading books. I love self education. I think it’s really important to go out and get that information myself and learn things by myself.

But I know that there’s a limit on what I can learn. Yeah. for me, like it is these mindset working with my finances, like catching up with you guys. I’ve got a coach for nutrition because I know that if I’m not a cannibal, I can get swayed to take away. I know I’ve got coaches for public speaking.

I’ve got mentors that helped me with having salary negotiations. Like I haven’t experienced that a lot in my career. So. Employ these coaches and whether I’m paying them.

or whether they’re mentors or whether they’re friends, like you, can’t be afraid to ask for help because you can’t expect to know everything.

And yes, the internet is a wonderful thing and so is Google. But I think it’s really important to have those human to human, face-to-face interactions where we can have a two-way conversation because, reading a blog and downloading a spreadsheet, isn’t enough to change your mindset.

Terry: It’s so true. And what you said about the coaching it is a trait you’ll recognize in all of the highest performance. I don’t know. A champion that I ever worked with in sport that did not have a team of coaches around them. There’s no one, no elite athlete, no champion I’ve ever worked with said, I don’t need coaching.

They all said, I want coaching. I said the exact opposite thing. Tell me what I can’t see. Tell me what I’m missing. All right. Awesome. Awesome job. So where can people learn a little bit more about you and what you’re doing? A cyber mates and I guess following.

Sam: Yeah. Yeah. So we are super active on our Facebook community group. So it’s so mates, community you can request to join. Just have to answer a couple little questions so we can get some data on you. And then we’ve got a Instagram page, which is at soulmates. We’ve got our website. We can sign up to our emails and yeah, if you want to follow along on my personal journey, you can follow me on Instagram at underscore underscore it’s semi Wilson.

Terry: double underscore. Nice.

Sam: Double skull was saying Wilson’s is such a popular name. It’s not my fault. Blame. My parents.

Terry: No, I love it. I thank you so much for coming on. It’s been awesome to talk through this with you. And I wish we did.

Sam: Yeah, thanks so much for having me. It’s been great.